Beetee...

So I want to talk about Beetee today. Beetee is my host sister in law. I like her very much and have come to think of her like my own sister. She is so smart and sweet and very pretty as well. Like most Bangladeshi women she is 4 feet tall and 80 pounds dripping wet. I tower over her with my Amazonian 5 feet 4 inches of height. I have gotten to know her pretty well. When she was young her parents died leaving her an orphan. She lived with her extended family but they did not want to deal with her (they were not happy about the prospect of having to pay for her dowery) so they married her off as fast as they could. At 14 she was married to Captin (I still do not know why they call him that) my host brother. It was an arrainged marraige and she did not meet Captain until their wedding day. I can only imagine what she must have felt as a young scared bride being given to some strange man. Luckily he is not that much older than her. It is very sad when the really young girls are sold (sorry for my biased view) to older men. Beetee is the smartest person in my household. She knows the most English and knows all about math and accounting and lots of things. She also knows proper things like gutting chickens and embroidery. Unfortunately Beetee is the low person on the totem pole in the house and is almost like a servant. My host mother orders her around all the time and yells at her quite a bit. Well actually my host mother yells at me too so mabey she just likes to yell. Anyway, Beetee cannot eat until everyone in the house has finished eating and she does most of the chores. She and I have grown close and she likes for me to sit with her and watch Hindi Soap Operas and practice my Bangla with her. She also loves to dress me up and is constantly petting me (yes like how you would pet a kitty or a doggie) and she usually takes my hand in hers while we are watching tv and kisses it repeatedly. At first I was uncomfortable with this kind of "petting" seeing as how we Americans need our space. But here the sexes are very affectionate with their own and she loves me very much. She tells me this every day of course and yesterday she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said ..."Maya my life is so awful so boring. All day I in house. All day no go out side. I want your life. I want to go to England or America and be a business woman. I want people to listen to me." I got so sad because I knew that I too want people to listen to me. But as an American woman I do have more choices. Is it fair? Do we live in a totally equal society? No. But at least there are more choices. I just felt so sad that day. What could I do? Part of me wanted to just take her with me back to America. Help her to get into a school. Help her accomplish her dreams. But all I could do was hold her to my chest while she cried a little and then finish watching our Soap Opera. So small steps. Ideas. One person cannot take on the world... but I can plant little seeds. I take her up on the roof of the apartment and I show her constillations. We talk about things like how all women in every country have PMS. We talk about the world and president Bush and why people do bad things. I make jokes and she laughs a lot. So Beetee who is the most talented henna artist I have ever seen. Beetee who hand embroidered a Shalwar Kameeze for me and who makes my bed every morning. Beetee who is so sweet and innocent and miserable. Beetee this blog is for you.

Dang I get all choked up just thinking about women here! I am so starting a womens group at my site!!! Woooooo hooooo!!!! Upity Bangladeshi women... I know they are out there....

Anyway, I am off to teach at the womens college today. Yikes my first day of school.....I have over 100 students in my class. Holy crap. I am doing better today though. Not as frustrated. But still so much going on. So I will write again soon!

M