Back on line with updates

So I finally got back to a computer. Its been an insane few weeks and I would like to update you all. First of all the internet cafe in town decided to do some renovations and has been closed for the two weeks. They just opened last night and here I am this morning getting this blog out to you.

So whats the what? Well there were a string of bombings that affected the country in various districts a few weeks ago. Several bombings were located in various Peace Corps sites and they directly affected volunteers. I would like to say that NO volunteers were hurt as a result of the bombings. Several sites are on "probation" and have been evacuated and the volunteers have been consolidated to Dhaka. Sites are being assessed and re-assessed. As a result of the bombings about 6 people have decided to ET (early terminate) and return to the States. This is a very personal choice and every one who makes it makes it for very different reasons.

Unfortunatly the response from our office was less than helpful. Most of us felt like we had no support at all and many of us were and are very scared. The response was "Well you are adults. If you dont feel safe here you can ET and go home." This astonded me and angered me. You see if we ET we do not get the Peace Corps benefits and the responsibility of leaving for safety and security reasons should not be put upon our shoulders. About a week ago our regional security officer came on emergency assessment to speak with the volunteers independent of our office. She went from district to district and we had open dialogue about how we were feeling.

Basically to cut a long story short Washington is now looking directly at Peace Corps Bangladesh because of the security officer being here and also from pressure back home. My family as well as others have contacted Washington on behalf of us and results are happening. What are those results? Two things have happened in the last week. One is that our emergency action plan has been revised and is including new contingency plans for consolidation and evacuation. For security reasons I cannot publish those plans here but I can tell you I like them and feel comfortable with the changes. Our office is also mis-managed and big changes are happening now. We the volunteers of Bangladesh have not felt supported and this has been a problem for several years. It is changing and things are shifting. The second thing Peace Corps offered us was if we were feeling unsafe we do not have to ET. We can request a country transfer. Here is the crappy thing about a country transfer for us B8's. If we choose to do that we fly back to the States next week or so. Then we wait for 4 to 5 months and get priority in going to another program. We of course have to start from scratch and go through another training, another language and (yay) another host family. We also do not get to choose where we go. It could be a swanky place like Chile or Macedonia or the Peace Corps country described as "hell on earth" Chad. Its a gamble and more waiting. Basically another year finished with not too much to show for it. Frankly I dont want to turn Peace Corps into a career.

So what am I going to do? I am staying. Yes you read that correctly . I AM STAYING. I have my reasons and I took some time to meditate on my situation. I wrote a list of pros and cons. I had a counseling session with the Peer network and have talked to fellow volunteers. I feel safe (as safe as can be outside of my own homeland) at my site. My family has been calling me (thank you family!!!) and at one point called me when I was pretty freaked out. I know that it was hard for them to hear me at that point because they are worried. I understand that. I am far away, I am in a situation that has dangers and you all have little to no control about this situation. I also understand that ya all have opinions about the matter. I appreciate that too. But you are also not in this experience so you can only judge it from your own perspective. That is also fine. You have to do what you need to do back home to lessen your anxiety too. You are free to call me at any time if you want to know how I am doing. Or send me and SMS. I try to get to the internet as much as possible but it is hard sometimes and you never know what will happen. So yes I am staying and I am not going to give reasons or try to justify my decisions here. You will have to trust my judgement and know that I dont take unnecissary risks here and that I feel good about the work I am doing. It is important to me. There are 4 times when volunteers are in crisis and this goes for all PEace Corps countries. One is during training, the other is transition to site, the third is the year marker (half way point) and then at the end of service and transition back to the States. So we were all in crisis number two when the bombs started going off. Some of us left. Some are staying. Choices.

I really like my site. I am settling in. I am speaking more and more Bangla. I have a supportive college environment. I just found a swanky apartment that is nicer than anywhere I have lived in the states and am excited to have my own space. My host family RULES and I have grown attatched to them. So much so I can often be found with 3 to 5 Bangladeshi children crawling all over me at all times. I have become a part of a family here and its cool. Yeah I need my own space but they understand that. I also like my site mates and they help me a lot and look out for me too. And then there are the times when I am talking to my students and they have this look in their eyes of such appreciation that someone took the time to listen to what they have to say because no one else here does.

M